Fear and Parenting in Las Vegas

Climbing a volcano was a life list kind of thing for me.

Steve thought it was pretty cool, too.

So, he put aside his fear of heights and I nearly hyperventilated my way through tunnels* to the top of Diamond Head Crater on Oahu to get this view.

We took a friend’s advice and headed up as late in the day as possible, hoping to maximize shade on the arid, sunbeaten path with stairs and switchbacks. Steve powered through some tough foot pain** and even wiggled his way to the railing to look over the side.

The views were amazing. A full 360-degree panorama of Waikiki, Huanama Bay and beyond. The water was the most beautiful shade of turquoise that I had ever seen.

It reminded me of my son’s incredible blue eyes.

I had to call them to share this moment. They’ve seen volcanos on TV. THIS would surely impress my naturalists in training.

Hey Boo! You’ll never guess where I am?

You’re in Hawaii, Mommy.

I know that, Boo. But guess where I’m at in Hawaii?

[silence]

I’m on top of a volcano!! Isn’t that cool?

Mommy, I’ve got to ask you something.

Uh oh. What’s wrong, Boo? What happened?

Can I have a cell phone?

WHAT? You’re six, you don’t need a cell phone.

But Brandy has one. She let me use it today at daycamp.

Well, I’m not sure if it was Brandy’s phone or her mom’s or her sisters, but I doubt Brandy’s mom would give Brandy her own cell phone. You’re not even in first grade yet!

But Mooooooooom!

Boo, you don’t have anyone to call. You’re six.

But I can call Brandy.

Oh brother. I’ll talk to your dad, but as far as I’m concerned, you don’t need a phone and aren’t getting one until you are old enough and can pay for it yourself. Now, did I mention I’m on top of a volcano? It’s so cool! You can see everything!!

Why can’t I have a phone?

Ugh. Let me talk to your brother….

My volcano glory was usurped by a six year old with a cell phone.

Lovely.

____________________

*Yes, there are tunnels that you need to go through to make it to the top of Diamond Head. A fact that folks neglected to tell me until I got there. The military bored into the mountain to create lookouts and to haul gear to the top back in the day. Personally I think they were plotting to make claustrophobics like me have panic attacks and hyperventilate. Sick bastards.

**Steve and I attempted surfing earlier in the week. Note the emphasis on “attempting.” It wasn’t pretty, but it was fun. Oh and it was painful. Steve was thrown from his board, stepped on what the Hawaiians call “wana.” We call it a sea urchin who left spines in Steve’s heel and left him hobbling for most of the week. If that wasn’t bad enough, he tore up the tops of his toes on coral. I got it too, but I wasn’t nearly as bad as he was. He rarely complained and powered through the pain. My hero. Please send pedicure gift cards. STAT!

Last month, I was crammed in the back of a Chicago cab on a wild goose chase for cool t-shirts, hot-dogs and boys with wands on REALLY big screens with four of my bloggity friends and I nearly peed my pants.

We were all affixed to our phones, watching another bloggity friend, the Undomestic Diva, mark an item off her bucket list. She hopped the fence and jumped into the “Married with Children” fountain. This, dear readers, is no easy feat. This fence is about as tall as she is. You have to check out her post. Be forewarned. Empty your body of fluids first, because I’m not going to be held responsible for upholstery cleaning bills.

Meeting her and lots of other bloggers last month was inspiring. I was not only inspired to keep writing my story as a parent in Las Vegas from my point of view, I was inspired to be a better parent and a better person. For the first time in a long time I took some stock over the experiences I want to hallmark my life. My bucket list one thing for every year of my age.

1. Build a career that I love and that pays me what I’m worth.
2. Love passionately.
3. Sea kayak in Costa Rica.
4. Take my mom to Europe.
5. Be kissed at the top of the Eiffel Tower.
6. Ride on the Orient Express.
7. Learn another language well.
8. Catch a bug as big as my hand in the Amazon rainforest (and try not to scream).
9. Learn how to dance (for reals, with a partner – and letting him lead).
10. Walk on a black sand beach.
11. Get my master’s degree.
12. Give birth.
13. Take an improv class.
14. Own a brand new car.
15. See Manhattan from the crown of the Statue of Liberty
16. Read War and Peace.
17. Watch my children graduate from college.
18. Take a picture that makes me cry.
19. Spend the night on a beach.
20. Teach my grandchildren how to play card games like Kings’ Corners and Hand in Foot.
21. Overcome my claustrophobia.
22. Swim with in every ocean.
23. Make my parents proud.
24. Write a sitcom pilot.
25. Show Boo how to cross stitch.
26. Help a friend give birth.
27. Take the kids white water river rafting.
28. Create something beautiful.
29. Teach Doodle to cook.
30. Alleviate someone else’s pain or suffering.
31. Find a kindred spirit.
32. Be financially stable.
33. Make beautiful music.
34. Forgive.
35. See the Rolling Stones, Bob Dylan, James Taylor, Tina Turner, and Paul Simon in concert (but not necessarily together).
36. Pray on top of a mountain.
37. Make a difference.

Some things I’ve done. Some things I’ve yet to do. I’ve got plans, kids, and big dreams.