Fear and Parenting in Las Vegas

Gazing into my crystal ball (This isn’t me, but he could be a distant relative of Homer’s), here are my top 10 predictions for 2009:

1. I will get a note home (or a parent/teacher conference) about Doodle hitting or biting another child. No, I’m not looking forward to it and yes, we’re trying to get him to “use his words.” This kids got a lot of energy and not enough holes from which to appropriately vent. The grounds a-rumblin, Homer. Stand back folks, he’s gonna blow!

2. Our new president will be blamed by Fox News for effects from decisions made by previous administrations. Yep, Obama’s inheriting a big old rat’s nest back in DC. I’m guessing being the leader of the free world entities you to a pretty sizable pair of big-boy pants. I think, in the end, he’ll be fine and we’ll all be better for it.

3. Boo will be reading me bedtime stories by the end of the year. She’s starting to read now, so it’s not a huge stretch. Fortunately, she’s got her dad’s big brain. I just hope she doesn’t have my crappy eyesight,

4. Speaking of which, I will (Lord-willing) be lens-free for the first time in 20 years thanks to Lasik surgery next month. Can I get a “woo hoo!”?

5. My dad won’t make it to next Christmas. It’s not that I’m hoping for his passing (although he seems to be). His self-abuse has really taken its toll and things are likely to start compounding sooner than later.

6. The economy will still be tough next year, but things will be looking brighter by the holidays. Well, here’s to hoping!

7. We’ll have a new heart beating under our roof. No. I’m not expecting. Nor do I want to be. EVER AGAIN. (I love my kids, but I’m DONE!) It’s just that we haven’t had a new pet in the house for a long time and we’re dangerously low on felines in the house (only two at this point), so I have this sneaking suspicion that something furry, scaly, or slimy will be crossing our threshold in the next twelve months.

8. I will be at BlogHer this year. Yes, I realize that this purchase has made this trip pretty much out of financial reach, but I’ve racked up enough frequent flier miles from my work trips and if find enough people to pack into a hotel room and promise to only eat Taco Bell and drink tap water, I just may be able to swing it. Besides, if I write it in my blog, it has to come true, right.

9. I will talk with online friends and RL friends online more than I do in person. Oh wait, that’s happening now. So, does that count?

10. I will have blogged 365 times by the end of 2009. Some of it will be here and the rest will be here or here or maybe on someone who’s willing to sublet space on their page, but I’ll do it. REALLY I WILL!

I’d like to thank my evil twin Debra Messing for being the most popular search term that has driven people to my blog this year. Yes, my nearly shirtless photo of Michael Phelps was a big driver and “cat paw” was an odd draw thanks to posts like this and this, but the hot mamma redhead did me right this year. So, one of my New Year’s resolutions will apparently be to work in her name or image into as many posts as possible next year.

So thanks Debra. If I bring you a latte, can you lend me your hair gods and personal trainer?

photo from people.com